MomTrusted on Parenting, Kids, and Early Education Archive:

Want to Give Your Single Mom Friends the Perfect Christmas Present?

If you’re a parent with a partner, you may marvel at your single mom friends from time to time throughout the year and wonder how they manage to juggle it all.  She may appear to have it all, and she probably doesn’t need any more lotion or candles, but I bet there are a few things on her list she is reluctant to ask for this Christmas.

Of course, much of this is true for single dads too.

Be a Good Elf

Young children can’t just head off to the mall to go Christmas shopping, but they will really feel proud if mommy unwraps something special from them on Christmas morning.  You’re going shopping anyway… why not have a chat with mom and volunteer to bring the kids so they can buy something for her?  She can give you a good idea of how to guide them and provide their shopping money, and it will be a real treat for her to be genuinely surprised by their gifts.

If she’s a single mom because of a breakup with the children’s father, she probably doesn’t enjoy shopping for their Christmas present for him, so that’s another way friends can step in and be helpful.

Think Outside the Box

It’s just plain fun to wrap up a lovely gift to hand someone, but some of the best gifts don’t lend themselves to being wrapped.  You can’t actually create a few more hours in the day for your friend, but you can do the next best thing by helping her mow down that to-do list of things she hates doing.   Is she annoyed by DIY jobs around the house she lacks the time, confidence or skills to do?  How about a gift certificate from a local handyman?  You can probably arrange not to specify the exact job to be done if you are concerned she will take offence.  Everyone could use a few hours of skilled work fixing things around the house!  If she doesn’t exactly love gardening, a gift certificate from a local landscaper to come and give the yard a good spring cleaning in a few months so it will be ready for the kids to enjoy might be just the thing.  She’ll be reminded of your thoughtfulness long after Christmas.  You can also make your own coupon good for an evening of you babysitting the kids.

Wrapping It Up

If you do want a more traditional gift of the easy to wrap variety, think about what will suit her busy life.  A book of short stories is better than a long, complicated novel if she rarely has time to sit down and relax.   A cookbook of quick and simple recipes might get more use than one full of ideas that involve hours of preparation.  And if you’ve been a good elf and asked what she’d like from her children, you already have some good ideas.

Aishwarya Vohra is a part-time writer and a full-time home maker. She has written in other places like this Graco Nautilus 3-in-1 Car Seat Review. She has interest in all things creative, whether it is unique house decoration ideas or creating art from trash.

Top 4 Fears for Children

Children, especially younger ones, will naturally have fears of things that don’t bother adults. Some of their fears might seem illogical, but they are very real to these children. The good thing is that most children tend to outgrow these fears as they grow older and get more life experience. With that being said, here are the top five fears in children.
 
The Dentist

The dentist is definitely one of the more common fears in children. Many children become scared and anxious when they have to go see the dentist because they’re afraid they will experience pain. A parent can ease a child’s fear of the dentist by explaining the procedure beforehand and reassuring him that it will not hurt. It’s also a good idea to choose a pediatric dentist who can help relax a child and engage him in a conversation during the procedure.
 
Monsters in the Closet

A lot of little children believe there are monsters in the closet and fear going to bed at night. One way a parent can ease a child’s fear of monsters is to explain to them that monsters are only pretend characters on television. Another way a parent can reduce a child’s fear of monsters is to minimize scary movies on television and scary stories.
 
Thunderstorms

Thunderstorms can really scare children, especially very little ones. The loud sounds of thunder can cause panic. The best way to calm a child during a thunderstorm is to distract him with other noise. For example, a parent can turn up the radio really loud or watch a movie with his child during the thunderstorm.
 
Haircuts

Although getting a haircut is very normal for most adults, some children actually fear getting their hair cut. Whether a child’s fear of haircuts is caused by a bad first experience or fear of new things, their parent can do a couple of things to make him more comfortable. For example, a parent can find a salon that caters to children so that there are fun distractions around like novelty chairs to sit in and televisions.

Bill Weston writes on a number of subjects including the dentist.

Extreme Parenting: Adventure Parents

Adventure parents Mark and Brooke Stephens with their daughters Chloe and Shiloh
 
Outdoor enthusiasts and bloggers Mark and Brooke Stephens know that being a parent is an adventure in itself. They also love rock climbing, skiing, camping and hiking. The couple founded the blog Adventure Parents, which aims to celebrate the outdoors and the importance of exposing children to them. MomTrusted talked to Mark Stephens about his blog and tips on adventuring with kids.
 
MomTrusted: How long ago did you start Adventure Parents?
Mark: The very first blog post published on May 5, 2009. At the time, maybe still today, I didn’t quite have a grasp on the vision for the blog. At least not much beyond that it’s going to be about the quest of parenting and how that plays a role, affects, diminishes, adds surprise or whatever-may-come to the active lifestyle my wife and I enjoyed before we had kids. It’s not so much about how to do anything as it as about exploring the journey and discussing the sorts of adventures other parents manage to pull off.
 
MomTrusted: Is Chloe your only child? How old is she now?
Mark: Chloe is five years old, but she’s not our only child. In September my wife gave birth to another daughter, Shiloh. She’s slowly drifting off to dreamland on my lap as I type this. She’s beautiful. We also hosted a 16-year-old girl, Ania, a foreign exchange student from Ukriane who shaped our lives so much that we don’t hesitate to call our daughter as well. She’s now 18 and attending a university in Lithuania studying English Lit of all things. She’s my hero.
 
MomTrusted: Why do you believe it’s important to educate your children about the outdoors?
Mark: Nothing too grandiose. We just want to raise well-balanced kids and expose them to many things. The outdoors, travel, culture, history, art, and hopefully they come to understand the joys of visiting wilderness, mountains, rivers, wild places and so forth. I want them to experience the satisfaction of hiking to the top of a tall peak or learning to turn in deep powder. Sure, embedded in this is exposure to the concept that the planet is undergoing serious depletion and overuse. But that’s just one side of it. I think it’s important to have a solid curiosity about the world and how it works. However, waaaay back when we were dating, our idea of a fun weekend was to go backpacking or rock climbing with friends. So out of a sense of nostalgia perhaps, we associate time outdoors with friendships and our budding romance. That’s good stuff.
 
MomTrusted: Would you say that some trips are easier with kids than others? Which are the easiest?
Mark: I would say that the variables are multiple and complex. In general, we find that a simple adventure road trip is pretty easy in the spectrum. My wife and I always enjoyed road trips, so we kind of emit positive, happy vibes when it comes to a trip and we think that helps get our kids excited too—that’s not to say the trip is exactly perfect and fun the whole time, no way. But not all families feel that way, some people think it’s nuts to be in the car for 30 minutes with their kids. Luck of the draw? Who knows. My wife and I really miss going hiking, backpacking and rock climbing. We’ve tried to get Chloe into hiking and to try her skills at simple bouldering, but she’s very hit and miss as to when she’ll be down for it. However, she loves going for a bike ride with me when I pull her in the kid trailer and she’s even asking for her own two-wheeled bike now. That’s exciting. Ania, when she lived with us, was awesome and always down for a hike, a road trip, a camping trip, anything that got her out of the house and spending time with us. She helped rekindle many of those things for me. Frankly, babies are the easiest age for just about any reasonable activity. If you’re game to carry the load, you can hike and backpack with a baby. Plenty of folks also keep rock climbing because it’s pretty simple to hang out at the crag for a day if there are enough hands on deck to be on baby duty. But when they turn into little kids with opinions and preferred activities, the game becomes so much more complex. This question is always a hell of a topic among our friends at a campfire. Everyone’s mileage varies.
 
MomTrusted: What is the largest challenge of outdoor adventuring with children?
Mark: Scheduling. When they start going to school and getting involved in other activities, obviously the window of opportunity narrows. There are birthday parties, which invariably get scheduled at midday on Saturday. Then there are swimming lessons, soccer games, neighborhood friends and whatever to keep you anchored at home. It’s not a bad thing.
 
MomTrusted: How do you overcome that obstacle?
Mark: Accept it and put shit on the calendar. Sorry about that. I mean there’s no such thing as spare time. There are priorities and goals and then there’s everything else. When there’s a trip you want to do, get it down on a date, put it on paper or your Google calendar or what-have-you. That goes for something as simple as a bike ride for me. I don’t specifically go write on the calendar “2:00 – 4:30 pm, Mark’s bike ride,” but I voice it to my family. “This Saturday I’m going to ride.” It’s not a demand or anything like that. It’s more like soliciting support to hold me to my goal. Know what I mean?
 
MomTrusted: What is one item that you will not leave for an adventure without now that you’re a parent?
Mark: Good food. We love cooking pseudo gourmet meals and semi-sophisticated foods while camping, stuff with fresh veggies and tasty appetizers and bottles of wine. We enjoy the challenge and the little exercise in luxury, if that’s the word for it. It’s fun.
 
MomTrusted: What advice do you have for other parents who seek outdoor adventure and want to expose their children to it?
Mark: You are not alone. Many parents are doing so at their own pace and on their own terms. Learn CPR and First Aid; chances are you won’t need them, but you’ll be empowered.

The Truth about Santa – How and When to Tell Your Kids

Santa Claus is a so-called “white” lie embraced by Western society. Every year, when Christmas is near, children from far and wide write letters and sit on Santa’s lap explaining what they want their presents to be. There comes a time, however, when they need to grow up and accept the truth. When is that time and how are parents supposed to handle it?

Santa Claus is a representation of magic in a child’s life, a phenomenon that children strongly believe in. Children begin to face obstacles and difficulties as they grow up, so it can be important to keep this belief alive in order to provide them with the comforting thought that magic exists and can help them to achieve anything. Not only that, but it encourages them to develop their imagination as they believe there are no limits to what is possible. Over time, children start to understand the difference between reality and the fantasy world of creatures and special powers. Santa is one illusion that children cling on to for some time though as it provides some consolation for the fact that magic may not be all around all the time – it is at least at Christmas. The myth of Santa tends to serve as a last barrier between the protected child and the harsh world outside its happy bubble. That is one reason why the world spends such vast amounts of money on portraying the image of Santa and keeping him alive in children’s heads.

But when should you consider that your child is old enough to be ready for the truth? In many cases, when children develop the ability of logical thinking, they come to the conclusion that the stories are too hard to believe themselves. For that reason, it might be unnecessary to sit them down at a particular age to tell them the truth, unless you are directly confronted.

One difficult scenario to face is when your child finds out the truth from someone else. In that case, children feel like they cannot trust their parents because they have been lying to them their whole life. You have to find a way to calm your child down and explain why it was so important to misguide them. Try to ask some questions yourself first like “Do you believe that Santa Claus is real?” If you don’t get a straight answer but more questions instead, it is time that you come clean.

What troubles parents the most is what exactly they are going to say when they face this problem. A great strategy is to tell the child that they are now growing up and slowly becoming a young man or woman, and therefore they are old enough to learn one of the most important truths in life. This instills a sense of pride and somewhat softens the blow of the news. If you have younger children, explain that they still deserve to believe and that the child (now a grown person) is responsible for keeping the secret a little longer.

Once the deed is done, be prepared for any and all reactions – sadness, anger, relief, disbelief and so on. Just do what you usually do when your child is feeling these emotions and comfort them. Keep in mind that probably the biggest blow from the fact that Santa isn’t real according to a child is that Christmas is ruined. So do treat them as grown people and explain how you’ve been buying the presents all these years so Christmas will continue to be every bit as amazing as the ones before.

As an alternative strategy, it is possible to gradually drop your child hints from a very young age and then they won’t have a singular shocking moment, but will more gradually get used to the idea over time. When they develop their logical thinking capabilities, many children realize that the story cannot be true, but they still choose to believe in it, so you would not necessarily be spoiling their idea of Christmas by adopting this approach.

Christmas doesn’t have to stop being magical just because your child knows the truth about Santa. You can still make the season sparkle, getting them involved in decorating the house, making the food, buying the presents and telling them stories about Santa and his helpers. The stories are still fascinating to children when they know the truth, and can still get their imaginations going. In fact, even adults can still be captivated by the magic of Christmas, if we let ourselves.

There is this wonderful letter going around that gives parents a great way to explain santa to their kids while trying to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in their hearts.

Facing Testing Challenges in Light of Demographic Details

 
“Tests seem to be a necessary evil. Sometimes, there are frustrations because of the limitations tests place on classroom activities. The opportunity to really delve into a subject is restricted because testing standards must be met and curriculum strands covered. Public schools are evaluated according to test results while teachers attempt to convince the public that these measures of success and performance are faulty. Some teachers try to game the system by helping their students during testing situations.
 
In the general public, 64 percent of people believe that tests should play a role in teacher evaluations. In some states, tests already play a role in yearly evaluations. In Ohio, 24 of 26 data points used for consideration on school report cards are standardized test scores. Unfortunately, test performance is strongly tied to family income, especially in the case of the SAT. Teachers and administrators dealing primarily with low-income families are faced with an uphill battle in light of the statistical indications.”
 
From: BestMastersInEducation.com

Difficulties in Breastfeeding

It’s impossible to deny that giving your baby breast milk is the best possible choice, but breastfeeding isn’t always quite as easy as some would have you believe. As with many changes that occur upon becoming a mother, breastfeeding takes some adjustment, and you may encounter a few difficulties along the way.

• Nipple Pain: This is the single biggest complaint among new mothers who are trying to breastfeed their babies. You could feel an itching or even a burning sensation, but the good news is that over time, you’ll feel no discomfort when you get ready to feed your baby. There are a few reasons you may be feeling nipple pain right now, though. You could have the baby in the wrong position as he or she feeds or you may simply have some skin issues around your nipples.  Make certain your baby achieves a good latch every time he or she feeds. It’s best to get baby to open that little mouth as wide as possible, then position yourself. You may also want to check your nipples for dry skin or thrush to help deal with the pain. Soap can easily dry your skin, as can ill-fitting bras, so watch out for problems as you begin to feed your baby. Check with your lactation consultant or pediatrician if you suspect thrush.
• Clogged Ducts: There are few things worse than a clogged duct, and they can make your breasts feel full, sore, and hot. While a clogged duct can’t hurt your baby, it can lead to infection in your body. If you notice a clog, rest as much as possible, take a hot shower, and apply a warm compress to your breast as you nurse. To avoid this problem in the future, make certain that your nursing bra fits well and avoid stress as much as possible.
• Engorgement: In those first few weeks, you may experience this painful condition. It may even make it difficult for your baby to properly latch on. While it will rectify itself in time, the best thing to do initially is to express a bit of milk before the feeding so baby has an easier time latching on.
• Low Milk Supply: This is actually rarer than you think. Most breastfeeding mothers make plenty of milk for their little ones, but it’s not always easy to tell how much milk baby is getting in any given feeding. If you do suspect you don’t have enough milk for your baby, your best bet is to contact a lactation consultant. She can help you make certain baby is getting enough, and in the event he or she isn’t, more frequent nursing or pumping is typically the best solution.
• Finding the Right Nursing Position: There are many different ways to nurse your baby, and in the early days, it may be tough to find the right one to meet your needs. You should try a variety of positions throughout the first few weeks until the two of you find one you like best. The chances are good that different situations will call for different positions. For example, at night, it might work best to nurse your baby in the side lying positions while during the day, you may be more comfortable with the traditional cradle hold.

Breastfeeding your baby can be an amazing experience, but it often takes a bit of work to get over the initial difficulties.

Pinkchic18 is a writer with a passion for parenting and babies. She also regularly contributes to the Parenting & New Baby Advice Blog, where you can find more articles on feeding baby along with unique baby gifts.
 
Attached Images License: Creative Commons image source

3 Practical Self-defense Tips for Children

*Note from MomTrusted*
The information below is for extreme cases and while we don’t think it’s useful to scare your child or make them feel paranoid that people are out to get them, we do believe there are lots of constructive ways to teach these things to children to encourage safety.  Below outlines what a child should do if they are being abducted but most children will never find themselves in this situation.  Here is a great resource for teaching your child about stranger safety without scaring them: kidpower.org/library/article/safe-without-scared/

While everyday situations do not call for self defense, being aware of dubious situations and being able to defend yourself should the need arise is important for children growing up in our society. Below are three tips on how to defend yourself as a young adult or child.
 
Be Aware

When a child is away from their parents or in an area they don’t know, encourage them to pay attention to their surroundings. Avoid areas such as alleyways or unlit sidewalks, and try to provide them with information on where they could go if they got lost or separated, such as a store, front desk, or a police station, to try and get help. Make sure they know to avoid vehicles or people they do not know. Teach them to avoid talking with or going anywhere with strangers, such as an adult at the park who may begin to talk to them out of nowhere. Remind them that if they are approached by a stranger, they should go to an adult they do know or leave immediately to avoid any conflicts. Teach them to identify individuals who may be able to help them, such as a police officer, and how to contact authorities if this is necessary.
 
Getting Away

If something does happen to your child, give them ideas on what they can do to remove themselves from the situation. Encourage your child to make as much noise as they can, screaming things such as “help” or “fire” which will get the attention of people in the area. Encourage them to struggle and fight to get away, and remind them that in an emergency where they are potentially being taken or kidnapped, things like scratching or biting or pulling hair may help them escape. Remember to include that if they are able to get loose, they should run away as fast as they can, continuing to ask for help and encouraging people to call 911. A self defense class may be a good way to help them feel they have a way of getting away if something were to happen, as this will help your child have a positive way to defend themselves if they are at risk for being harmed or taken. Most rec centers, gyms, or local activity centers have classes for children in self defense.
 
Inform and Alert

Teach your child how to move with a group and know their information. Your child should always stay with a group whenever possible, and never leave the house by themselves, especially after dark. Encourage your child to take a dog with them if they own one when going out on walks or running errands if at all possible. A child should always know 911, as well as their address, phone number, and name of at least one parent or guardian. Make sure they know their way around where they are going, as well as escape routes or shortcuts if they need to make a quick escape. They should also know how to get to a safe location other than home, such as a bank, store, or school, as these places are all locations where there are adults who can help with a situation as needed.
 
Christopher Watson is a martial arts instructor with a background in security and recently contributed to the Top 10 Best Online Homeland Security Degree Programs for professionals looking to get quality training in security from home.
Attached Images:License: Creative Commons image source