Archive: child development

Separation Anxiety: 8 Tips to help your child’s transition

Finding childcare and/or preschool that fits your needs is a relief. That relief, however, is generally short lived as it quickly comes time to take your child for the first time. More accurately, it comes time to say goodbye to your child for the first time. This emotionally volatile, stomach-turning moment is some painful for everyone involved. Many preschool teachers and childcare providers would probably argue that the children are more resilient than their parents… so here are a few tips that will help you manage the separation anxiety on both sides and make those first couple of weeks less stressful.

1. Prepare your child. Start talking to your child several weeks out about the changes that will take place. In language they can understand and make their own, talk through what the new day will look like.

2. Create excitement. As you talk to her, talk about the exciting things she will get to do in her new classroom or with her new friends.

3. Acknowledge it may be scary or sad. Be upbeat but don’t sugar coat the experience. Let him know he may be sad or get a bit scared and that is okay. Talk to him about what he can do if he feels like this. For younger children this is hard but it helps to focus on soothing activities or objects that will help him adjust.

4. Establish a routine. This is incredibly important. Children need structure and predictability especially in the face of change. Develop your own separation routine with your child. Let them help create the routine, making it theirs. It might be three hugs and 4 kisses. Or, it may be a story then waving goodbye from the window. Whatever it is, create it and stick to it.

5. Plan to stick around. The first week is usually the hardest. Schedule accordingly. Help your child ease into their new environment with you around as a safety net. Encourage him to explore more independently, gradually becoming more confident. This will help as you shorten your ‘drop off’ time

6. Find a goodbye buddy. Every preschool or childcare is different but if possible make a separation buddy. Talk with the teachers/staff members and determine what will work best for your schedule and who your child is naturally bonding with. Ideally, this will be part of your routine giving your child a sense of stability and security as you depart.

7. NEVER sneak away. While it may be tempting to slip away quietly while she is engaged in her new surroundings, you are only fanning any anxiety she may have. Mommy or Daddy disappearing is not a concept you want her to try to make sense of. Again, create your routine and stick to it.

8. Show interest in their day. Give your child a fun and open way to show you the things they did while you were away. This helps them know even though you are not their you still care and are thinking about them. It also makes finishing the day exciting and fun for them.

Stop Outsourcing Education

This is not about the marginal utility of labor or about the increase of enabling technologies that have made the world flat. This is about getting parents more involved in their child’s education.

First let’s agree on a few things:

–       There is never enough time to do it all as parents…everyday we leave tons of things unfinished

–       Our children have teachers

–       There are lot of great gadgets, programs, tutors, etc that help our children learn

–       There is no substitute for our involvement as parents

Our children need to see us, their parents, demonstrate learning and education is important. This starts at a very early age. Before our children ever touch the formal education system we have the opportunity to create and feed their appetite for learning.

From birth she is learning: learning to manipulate her fingers, express her emotions, recognize faces, and make sounds. Our opportunity, our responsibility starts from day one.

If we outsource that responsibility to the computer, her teachers, the T.V., or her tutor how, will she ever understand we find value in her education? More importantly, without an environment that encourages learning, what will she really learn? Most of us cannot educate our children alone. Teachers, tutors, and technology likely will all play a part. But the glue that holds them all together should be you…the parent.

Time for a healthy breakfast

Nutrition is a key ingredient in a child’s development. Nutrition plays an important role in long-term development but also in the day-to-day learning activity of young children. As a 2007 study pointed out the effects of nutrition are not limited to under nourished children, which clearly must be addressed, but also extends to children that many would consider well fed. They found statistically significant cognitive gains among all children who were given a vitamin and mineral supplement.

Recognizing the fundamental role of nutrition plays in the educational setting the U.S. Department of Agriculture just released a new proposal this week that changes the requirements for subsidized school lunches. The proposal was combined with new legislation extending the requirements to all school based lunches not just subsidized programs to improve nutritional standards for all school children and hopefully improve learning and development.

The proposal, though still in the early stages, changes the current standards to include more fresh fruits and vegetables and limits the amount of transfats and non whole grains served. While not blockbuster and likely still a couple of years from taking effect, the change highlights the importance of nutrition for a child’s learning and development.

As parents this is hopefully not news. It should be, however, a reminder that we (as parents) contribute to our children’s education and development in many important ways. Understanding all of the ways we can set our children up for success is the first step, making it a habit is the second and most important step. Most of us recognize the importance of healthy eating, but we also know how hectic the day can become when juggling work, kids, and any thing else life sends our way.

Morning times are probably the most challenging for most parents but most important for our children’s nutrition. The chaos that is the morning time generally determines at least two meals – breakfast and lunch. A small amount of planning can go a long way toward improving the morning time routines. Here are a few suggestions that may help alleviate the morning time stress and get you and the kids out of the house with a healthy meal in hand and stomach.

–       Plan for the chaos when shopping: At the grocery store we all have grand plans and great meals in store, but those take time. Pick out items that are fast and nutritious for the morning. Ideally, they are items that are portable (ie a banana and whole grain peanut butter toast) having fast and healthy options available makes it much easier.

–       Bedtime stories & brown bags: Add to your bedtime routine. Reading to our kids is critically important so why not go for the one two combination and involve your kids in packing their lunch for the next day. It’s an opportunity to have fun and involve your children in their own healthy development.

–       Start early: Our children watch us from the very beginning. Create healthy habits from the very beginning, as they are much easier to reinforce and maintain than to create once they are older.

Under Construction: Your Child’s Brain

Babies are born with their brains literally still under construction. While they have the majority of the building materials already on site the construction of the elegant and complex pathways of the brain are still very much in process. Babies are born with roughly 100 billion neurons already in place. Most of these neurons have not been ‘connected’ meaning they have yet to form into the useful pathways that enable vision or language. These connections are formed over the first ten years of a child’s life. More importantly, the brain develops in predictable stages based on the chemical changes occurring in the brain at that time. Because these stages are predictable scientists and developmental psychologists have been able to identify “prime times” for specific development activity and learning.

A recent publication by Judith Graham and Leslie A. Forstadt of the University of Maine detailed these prime times, what’s happening, and what a parent can do to support. Here is brief summary of their findings:

Helping your child’s vision

–        From birth to age 6 a child’s vision is developing. There is a peak in development between ages 1 and 3.

–        Babies, when born, can see clearly objects that are 8-10 inches away from their face. Over time they begin to develop greater depth perception.

–        Eye exams are the biggest help a parent can give. If problems go uncorrected the neural pathways could lose functionality.

Helping your child’s feelings

–        Emotions are a complex development process lasting through about age 10.

–        The first emotions the brain builds are calm and distress at about 2 months these emotions begin to develop into more layered feelings.

–        You can help nurture your baby’s emotional development by providing a structured and supportive environment. Simple things like expressing joy, providing routine, and positive discipline help your child develop robust and healthy emotions.

Helping your child’s language

–         Language skills begin developing at birth and grow through age 7. Vocabulary specific development starts at age two and continues into adulthood

–        The first 6 years are critical for brain development to understand, recognize, reproduce language.

–        Talking to your baby is the most important thing you can do. Continually share your language and vocabulary with your child. As a baby the singsong talk is especially helpful in helping babies learn new words.

Helping your child’s motor skills

–        A baby’s motor skill development starts with the large muscle groups and refines to smaller muscles from there.

–        The basic motor skills (arms, legs, back, etc) start at birth, with fine motor development starting around 6 months old.

–        Motor skills are refined primarily over the first 4 years of a child’s development

–        You can help your baby’s motor skill development by having age and stage appropriate activities available. For example drawing with crayons or painting helps with fine motor skills while having reaching for objects helps large motor and hand eye coordination in younger babies.

Your child is equipped from the day she or he was born with all the tools needed to develop and grow into an amazing person. Understanding how your child develops will help you provide the best environment possible to stimulate those 100 billion neurons.

The Value of Early Education